Path of enlightenment

Homosexuality. This post isn't about Church doctrine. It isn't about LGBT rights. It isn't even about changing your views or beliefs. Rather it's a post of my journey towards personal enlightenment and this never ending path of bettering my self. I wanted to post my comments as it's own post, be realize this topic isn't for everyone, and those interested, have already posted on this thread. Discussion is welcomed:

We had Dr. Bill Bradshaw, a retired Microbiology professor speak to us earlier this week. He is a former Mission President of the Hong Kong mission, served in the Stake Presidency and various other church positions as well. He presented to us studies, tests and real life evidence of how early embryonic development can drastically change the outcome of a child. How various testosterone's introduced during specific stages of development cue the body to begin developing cells that are exactly the same after fertilization, to begin specializing into various organs like a liver, stomach or heart. The absence of these testosterone's can have a huge a effect and the cause as wide spread as a cell not receiving the signals, or perhaps the testosterone's are unable to enter the cells during this stage. He presented tests that heterosexual men and women generally did better at, and how homosexual men and women seemed to follow the exact patterns of their heterosexual opposite. If you're gay or know someone who is, you can relate to these findings, and know exactly what Dr. Bradshaw is talking about. What he was trying to prove, was homosexuality is not a choice. People are born gay. To say that people are "not born gay because that means God made a mistake, and God doesn't make mistakes" is an outdated fallacy, and one that can be extremely hurtful. What I took from his presentation is, life is far too complicated for our feeble mortal minds to comprehend. There is no one answer. He presented a case of an individual that looked (physically) like a women yet she suffered from a disease called AIS (androgen insensitivity syndrome) which prevents an embryo to develop the male organs, even though the baby has XY chromosomes and should develop into a male, develops into the default sex of a female. Most people don't are unaware of this until they hit their teens and their parents take their daughter in to the doctors as to why she hasn't began the female processes that come with adolescents and tests will show that genetically she is a male. Again, the complexity is beyond our comprehension.

Later in the week we had a panel of 3 gay students here at BYU who are also LDS. "Jeff" who is gay, "Mike" who is bisexual and "Jenny" who is lesbian. Both men were converts to the church at ages 15 & 16. Both knew they were gay, and knew the church's stance, yet could not deny their testimonies and knew that they wanted to serve a mission someday to share the gospel message with others. One served in the Netherlands and the other in Ukraine. After their introductions I was the one who asked most of the questions. I asked questions like, Does it offend you when someone says 'that's gay'?, How did your homosexuality affect your mission and who on your mission knew? and the question that affected me and our panel the most that I asked was, How will the path of your sexuality and the path of this Gospel, cross and at which point will you decide, if you decide at all, that the paths must separate?
Jeff responded that he will put his future in God's hand. If there is a female that he is to be with, than he wants to know, a sign from God. If it doesn't work out that way, he'll deal with it at that point. Jenny said that she envisions a day when she and her wife, will be able to pick their kids up from primary, and sit together as a family in sacrament. To most of us these might seem a far way out or impossible at that. What got me was Mike's response. He said that he knew that he would eventually find a man that he loved and wanted to be with forever, and marry. He knew that by doing this, this path and the path with the church would end and he knew that he would be excommunicated. He knows without a doubt, that Joseph Smith was a true prophet and he did restore the gospel in these latter days. He also can't deny these feelings. If it is a "challenge" as some say, can you change your attraction towards the opposite sex? Because I was the only one in my class with children, Mike's answer affected me in a very different manner than it did the others.

I have children, that I love more than life itself! I would literally lay down my life for them, and promise to do everything in my power to help them live a long, healthy, happy life. I would have such a difficult time knowing that my child has a testimony of the church, yet knows that he will have to be excommunicated if he acts on these desires. The church's current stance for homosexuals is abstinence or celibacy. I just had a hard time putting myself in the shoes of the parents of these students. I love my wife and the relationship that we have. I couldn't imagine one of these students having to go through life, without a spouse or partner or at least not sharing the type of loving and nurturing relationship my spouse and I have, whether it's with the same sex or not. This is perhaps why Mike knew that he would eventually get married, even if it meant excommunication.

There is a woman in my class, who confided in me, that she was in fact gay. She is married to her husband in the temple, but loves him for the person that he is and the person he makes her by bringing out the best in her, yet she is attracted to females. I'm not sure how it all works, but for them it works, and I'm happy for her that she was able to find a person and a way that her path of same gender attraction and path of our church doctrine was able to co-exist. Many people are not able to find that compromise in this journey.

I grew up in a Tongan dominated, west side Salt Lake neighborhood of Glendale that was not very conducive to homosexuals, and the truth is we just didn't know much. Maybe it's not homophobic, but it sure isn't talked about. Not in our culture, neighborhood, or religion. The beginning of my enlightenment, surprisingly began with my military service which was a very homophobic (I hate that word by the way) yet I served along side many soldiers who essentially saved my life in certain situations in Iraq, and it wasn't until after our deployment that I learned they were gay. Had I known they were gay, maybe I wouldn't have gotten to know and appreciate them as a human being first, because I wouldn't have been able to get over that barrier, albeit was only a barrier for me, not them. Then I came home and married my wife, who was many cousins that are gay. Specifically when I met her first cousin Eldon Johnson, he absolutely changed my entire outlook, as I gained a love for him because I saw how much he loved everyone else around with, without judgement and very Christ-like even to those that judged him and even shouted vulgarities to him and his boyfriend, without even knowing what an amazing person he is. So, to Eldon, Thank you for helping me come this understanding, when I first joined the family over 10 years ago!
 
The most alarming part was the statistics of homeless young adults on the streets that come from LDS families, the statistics of young adults who contemplate or attempt suicide, who are members of our own families. I can't imagine what any of you had to go through when dealing with these questions. Noni, Kaho, my family who I love, I wonder about your stories as well and know that you are surrounded now by loved ones who matter. I admire your strength. This post was just about learning to love our family for who they are, family. Because some day, if your own flesh and blood, your own child, comes to you to tell you this, first I would be happy that we have a relationship where my child is comfortable enough to talk to me about this and secondly I would love them. Because we loved them before we knew this, why would it change? It shouldn't. To call yourself a follower of Christ, then turn away from a loved one, is incomprehensible. That's all folks. I hope I haven't offended anyone, again these are just my opinions, nothing more. Just love each other without placing judgement because many things are beyond our comprehension and understanding of our mortal minds. Our just, loving, Father in Heaven, knows all. This I do believe.