Provo Update

Well it’s been quite a while since last I’ve posted and I think it’s about time. It’s almost midnight here in Provo and my entire family is sound asleep behind me on the living room floor. Yes, Provo. We moved from our 5 bedroom 2 bath, two level, fully fenced in West Valley home, to a 3 bedroom 1 bath apartment of Wymount Terrace; part of Brigham Young University’s on campus family housing…and we love it! Not only are we saving hundreds of dollars on rent, but this means that we’re another step closer in our journey of education! To be honest with you, I would’ve never thought that I would ever be a student here! At BYU? And my baby sister is a Freshman here as well!

                I’m still at FedEx and hoping that a position opens up at the FedEx Orem location before classes start June 18^th. If not, FedEx and I may have to part ways. It’s a fantastic job, with great pay and benefits, and I’m very good at my job (Courier.) However, I will not let anything hold or delay my schooling even one semester, not even my job. We don’t have much time, we’re only getting older, and there will never be an “ideal” time to go to school. If we waited for the “right” time to go to school, we’d be waiting all our lives. It’s just something that you have to just jump into, literally a leap of faith.

                On that note, I have to say, we have been blessed immensely on this journey of education, and I can’t help but recognize our Heavenly Father’s hand in our lives every day! We have been blessed each step of the way! It seems that each time we’re in a difficult spot or situation, doors open and opportunities present themselves at just the right moment, that propel our little family in the direction that we should go!

                I have difficulty finding reasons why we have been blessed so much, and I can never put my finger on it. My family is in good health. We always have food on our table and clothes on our backs. Our vehicles run well, getting us from point A to B safely. Something I think about often, especially with the return of my younger brother Heikoti Lao from his 2 year LDS mission in Ft Worth TX, is the fact that I never went on a mission. It is said that the longer a Missionary works in the rain or the harder the Missionary works on his mission the more beautiful his wife will be. If beauty is what you’re looking for then that is fine and dandy. I did not serve an LDS Mission, yet I was blessed with a talented, hardworking, loving, nurturing, self-less, respectful, spiritual wife who pushes me to be a better Man each and every day!....not to mention she is gorgeous!

                Anyways, a brief update on our family: My oldest son Sateki just finished his first year of preschool and will be starting Kindergarten our here in Provo in the fall. Salote is 4 and will be starting preschool at the end of summer. Kime will be 3 in June and is a hilarious addition to our family. Heikoti is the baby of our family at 11 months, and is the Sunshine baby of our troops! We’re so excited to be here, and look forward to the coming years as we continue this difficult, struggling, student/family life and know that it will all be worth it in the end. Until next time, as always, have a blessed day! J

Kime Lao

The Sound that would forever Change My Life!

              A young, nervous couple, sit in patient room number 4. The beautiful young woman laying nervously on the patient bed, her hand off to the side, fingers interlaced with her husband to be. He holds her hand tightly, as an affirmation that everything will be ok. They gaze into each other’s eyes, and see the truth of the situation. They’re both unsure of the future ahead, and unsure of the obstacles that lay ahead of them. The only thing they are sure of, is they love each other more than they ever thought possible. No matter what life will throw at them, no matter what difficulties await them, no matter what obstacles lurk around the corner, they have each other. This is the only comfort they have right now. It’s the only comfort they need.

               

               The Mid wife walks in, smiles at the young, anxious couple and asks her young patient a few questions. Her questions are very frank, and she expects answers to be as well. Some questions feel rather personal, but that’s why the couple finds themselves in this room. Little do they know, these questions will later become ordinary and routine, and will not feel so uncomfortable in the near future.

                The Mid wife puts her gloves on, and removes a small bag containing some necessary tools. The young woman nervously looks at her Man, and he squeezes her hand with a little more pressure to assure her, he’s here and he’s not going anywhere. Sensing their uneasiness, the Mid wife reassures them, that she’s done this thousands of time. She’s been in this field for over 35 years, and to trust her, everything will be ok.

                A small speaker box is pulled out with a device on the end that looks like a microphone. She places a generous amount of blue gel on the end and warns the young woman that it will be cold for second, and then it will warm up. She places the receiver coated with gel, on the young woman’s belly and immediately inaudible sounds resonate from the speaker. Gently she moves the device up and down the belly and the sound from the speaker is similar to the open ocean. It’s almost calming. Then suddenly a thumping sound is heard.

                “Lub, dub. Lub, dub.”

                With great excitement the couple grin from ear to ear.

                “Is that….” The young woman begins.

                “Hang on now” the Mid wife interrupts “that’s the sound of your heartbeat.

                She continues to move the instrument around, this time pushing further down and with a little more force. She angles it downward, and pulls it at different angles like a professional treasure hunter looking meticulously for that hidden treasure that she knows is there, just beneath the surface concealed from the naked eye.

                Just then, a very faint a distinguished and much faster paced set of sounds appears.

                “Lub dub Lub dub Lub dub Lub dub.”

                “There it is!” The treasure hunter exclaims.  “That is your baby’s heart beat!”

                The couple starts to cry. Tears stream down both of their faces. The young father to be, stands up and embraces his Love. They weep uncontrollably in each other’s arms, amazed at the sound of this wonderful miracle being created in the womb of this loving mother. This child has no idea how excited his future parents are to hear his little heartbeat.

                This simple sound was a harmony that would change the course of my life. This sound would change me forever. I did not know then, that this would be the beginning of the most difficult, challenging, yet happiest, and fulfilling times of my life! Fatherhood, married life, and all the joys associated with it. I’m grateful to my wife, and our ever growing eternal family, for our humble beginnings, and I wouldn’t trade it for the world!

Sea of Uncertainty

              With a few moments to myself, in an empty house, I feel the need to write a few lines, while these emotions are fresh. I just left our Stake Presidents’ office to complete the last part of my application to BYU! Tomorrow morning the U of U is holding an open house for transfer students from SLCC. I will be attending that as well, just in case I don’t get accepted to the Y.

                I feel that because I want so badly to get into the Y, I won’t. Just because. It’s just my luck to get accepted to Universities around the world (even though I haven’t applied anywhere else, mysteriously acceptance letters would fill my mailbox in the coming weeks) and the school that I so desperately hope to get into, rejects me.

                Against the advice of so many people in the medical field, to just give up on the Y and go to the U because there I will have opportunities to meet and rub shoulders with people in the Medical field that can help further my career aspirations. Against the advice of so many, to just give up on childhood dreams and silly football loyalties of going to the Y, and do the smart thing, stay in your comfort zone, go to the U, stay in Salt Lake,  get a great education from an awesome school and still live here in Salt Lake. Against all of this, for some reason beyond explanation, I want so badly to go to the Y. It isn’t because of childhood dreams of playing football for the Cougars, or loyalty to my family’s “team.” I wish I could explain it…but I simply can’t.

                Perhaps it’s for exactly all the opposite reasons why I should stay here and go to the U. Maybe I want to get out of Salt Lake, live in a tiny apartment with my family of 6, and struggle through college. Maybe I don’t want to meet and rub shoulders with individuals of the medical field that can help me get into the program I want. Maybe I want to run away from Here, and disappear in Utah County and re-emerge years later as a successful man. In whatever career I happen to choose throughout these next crucial two years. To be completely honest, these uncharted waters I am leading my family into scare me so much, I have difficulty sleeping at night, wondering if I’m making the right decisions. The decisions I choose now, not only affect me, but they affect my entire little family! That type of responsibility, that type of weight on one man’s shoulders is enough to make one physically weak. And hopefully bring him to his knees. In prayer.

                I can’t tell you how scared I am of the unknown path we’re on or where we’re headed. I can’t tell you how unsure I am of what I want to do when I grow up, or how I plan to support my family as we grow older. I can talk all day long, of my plan B’s and my plan C’s or plan D & E if those all fail, but I can’t, for the life of me, tell you what my plan A is. All I do know, is I want to go to college, and further my education. I hope to find out what I want to do during these last two years of college. I know that I want a career that will allow my wife to never have to work again, and allow me time to spend with my kids. I don’t care about money or material things, as I did not have those things growing up. Driving a beautiful foreign car, or having a vacation home in the tropics doesn’t appeal to me. All I want is more time with my family.

                The one thing that helps me through this sea of doubt, is my wife and the anchor she is for me. Where ever this crazy road takes us, which ever career path we end up at, we will be in this together. Throughout this difficult time, throughout the stresses of school and work, her smile alone brings a calm and serenity to this sea of doubt that I cannot explain. I’m positive she has no idea how much I love to come home to her smiling face, and to be greeted by my crazy kids running from their room to hug me at the door. In this sea of uncertainty, my precious cargo, my family, will anchor me through the storm.

Medicinal use of Sprite

    Tongans use many different "home remedies" to fix injuries and ailments from broken bones to burns and scrapes; from the common cold and flu to migraine headaches to sore muscles and joints. Growing up I can think of several different occasions where these "home remedies" where used on myself and my siblings. Many times, I thought they were completely ridiculous, but our Tongan Elders swore by these remedies.

    One time my older brother Sateki, was skateboarding down a very steep hill, behind my grandparents' house and he hit a rock and flew off the board. He landed on his back and slid several feet before grinding to a halt, sustaining serious road rash injuries to his shoulders and back. We rushed him to our grandmother's house and immediately she pulls out a stick of butter, and begins generously applying the butter all over my brothers' roadrashed back. He screamed out in pain, but obediently allowed my grandmother to finish the application of the entire stick of butter. Later in life, as we grow and learn about injuries and how the body heals itself during traumatic injury, I learned that applying generous amounts of butter directly onto an open wound, such as road rash, is exactly would you should never do! My grandma is so funny!

    Many of us have horror stories of dislocating a joint such as a hip or shoulder, or spraining an ankle or knee. The Tongan remedy for this is to be taken to a trained individual such as a chiropractor or other joint specialist, but not really trained in a traditional chiropractor school; more of a talent or specific knowledge passed on from one generation to the next. These Tongan massage therapists fota or "massage" the affected or injured areas and cause a great deal of pain to the individual. I will say, I was a skeptic of this practice at first, until I saw first-hand, someone with sore joints and muscles walk out of the session pain free.

    Anyway, the Tongan "home remedy" I seem to have remembered the most from my own childhood, is the remedy used to cure upset stomach, and the stomach flu. As a child, I can remember coughing so bad that I would begin to vomit. When I would have food poisoning or the stomach flu, I can remember the same remedy being applied to help cure this as well. A Super Big Gulp of Sprite! Yes, I can remember staying home from school because I was vomiting the night before, and my mother buying me my very own Super Big Gulp of Sprite, and it was made known, that this Sprite was only for me and no one else was allowed to touch it! I'm not sure if the carbonation or the lemon-lime flavor actually cures upset stomach, but for some reason it always helped me feel better. I can remember feeling special knowing that the Super Big Gulp in the fridge was only mine. I felt special staying home from school, watching cartoons sippin' on this magical elixir.

    Now that I have kids of my own, I see myself using some of these "home remedies" with my kids. Although I haven't used a stick of butter on my children's open wounds yet, I have run to the store in the middle of the night, on several occasions to buy my kids a Super Big Gulp of Sprite. I sit them on the couch with a warm blanket around them, turn the TV to the Cartoon Network and make sure everyone in the house knows, the Sprite in the fridge is only for the sick kid. I make them feel special, like my mom did to me, and within a day, the vomiting stops, and which ever ailment they were suffering from is completely gone. This is the widely used, but largely unknown Medicinal use of Sprite. J

The Great Debate

The issue that I find myself facing every single day is time management. In order to be successful in completing our family goals, we need to prioritize. We have to decide where we will spend our time, and money, which family events we should or have to go to, which items do we deem a necessity and or need and which are just a want. Often our culture dictates precedence of certain family functions to attend and not attend. There are some events that are optional, and some that you wouldn’t dare miss simply because showing face, in our culture, actually goes a long way.

So the issue that I, and all other parents, is how much time should you spend with your family, and how much should you spend at work. Obviously if there is an opportunity to work longer hours to make more money, then by all means, stay at work longer, and make that money to provide for your family. Currently I’m out of class on our winter break in between semesters. This extra time out of school would allow me to spend more time at work, longer days delivering packages, therefore giving me a bigger check. However, with the extra time, I can’t help but get excited at the thought of a short work day, to rush home and see my wife and kids, and plan a fun filled day with activities at somewhere like Classic Skating, or Jungle Jim’s!

The responsible thing to do in my position would be to stay at work, actively look for opportunities to make more money at work, by picking up routes or stop for a longer day. The responsible thing to do would be to save as much money as possible right now, because when classes start, I’ll be working less so that I can rush to class staying at school longer to study which means less time all together with my kids. Those are what a responsible adult would do….I’ve never been very responsible, and I still do not consider myself an adult really, so I’ve decided to do things a little different:

This whole week I’ve been getting off early so that I can be home with my kids. I sit in my living room and wait as each child wakes up and runs from their bedrooms to the living room, screaming good morning to me! Kime is usually the first to wake up, followed by Lote, then baby Koti, and finally Teki as he is usually the last to go to bed. They all walk down the hallway rubbing their eyes, looking for something to eat. Each one is surprised to see me sitting there, as I usually go straight to school from work. These mornings with my kids, I cherish as I know the time is approaching fast, where they will be driving themselves to High School and leaving so abruptly from the house, they won’t even notice me sitting there waiting to greet them.

I’ve opted out of the responsible thing to do, make less money, and spend more time with my kids during this short two week break, because I think of them the entire day that I’m at school or stuck in the library studying. Often time while reading one of my books, a thought or memory of my kids doing something hilarious will pop into my head, and I’ll laugh out loud drawing awkward stares from fellow students in the library wondering what could be so funny in a biology book that would make an individual laugh out loud. It’s usually at those times that I call home just to hear my wife or children’s voices to hold me over til the end of the day. More often than not, the suspense of throwing my children up in the air or hearing their laughs is too much, and the thought of them, typically signals the end of my studies for the day, and jump in my car and rush home to see them.

Like I said, I’ve never been very responsible and I don’t really feel like an adult, and my decisions reflect that. I have less money, this holiday break then I should. I understand the statement “Starving Student” but my kids don’t ever have to know what that means. I love them all too much for them to ever know, these struggles we go through as parents, are all for them. And this, is the great debate.

End of the Year

          While I have a second to myself this morning, I've decided to just write down a few random thoughts as we close out this 2011 year. As a family, my beautiful wife and I just turned 28! our son Sateki is 5, daughter Salote is 3 and will be turning 4 Jan 10th, son Kime is 2 and completely potty trained! and we added a baby boy to the family that we name after my brother serving in Ft. Worth TX, little Heikoti Lao!

          We have a few goals, and milestones we hope to reach this up coming New Year. I graduate from SLCC with my AA and having completed all my Nursing Pre-req classes as well! My wife wants to celebrate, but I don't think this accomplishment warrants a celebration. I've still got plenty of schooling left, and the very difficult classes lay ahead of me. She reminded me although it's just an Associates, it will be the first college grad on bothsides of our family, so I guess it's a big deal. My reasoning against a celebration is, college students in a 4 year college, don't have a celebration when they finish their Sophomore year in College....do they?

          At any rate, I have to complete my application to BYU asap! My cummulative GPA just dropped to 3.41 after this last semester which may sound bad to many, but if you knew my past GPA's you would be elated! lol. Going the route I plan with my schooling, medical no doubt yet unsure which specific direction to take, going to the U of U would be the wisest decision. However I can't help that I've been a Cougar fan my whole life, and the oppurtunity to call my self a Cougar, is irresistable. Even if I don't get in, at least I tried. Even if I get in and don't finish there, at least I tried. Even if I just get accepted, get my student ID and then go to the U just so I can say I was a Cougar, that'd be good enough for me! lol.

          That's all for now. Just a few notes to remind me where we were at the end of 2011. I want to be able to look back and read these blogs to remind my family what we were doing and the progress we were making in life. We do have a lot to work on, but slowly and surely, we're pluggin' along! Happy New Year's to all of you. I hope this New Year fills your homes with love, laughter and blessings!

I hope it's all worth it

     It's been a while since I've posted anything. Not because I've had nothing to write about, actually quite the opposite. We've been sooo busy. It's 11:15pm and my sick wife, and 4 babies are all in bed. The house is quite and I'm able to gather my thoughts. Yet in the silence my thoughts are how much I love my family and how I couldn't imagine my life without them.
     Fall Semester begins on Wednesday and I'm a little nervous. These next two semesters will be tough. Last semester was the first time since I don't know when, that I've gotten a 4.0! I didn't want to make a big deal because I didn't think my classes were that difficult but my wife (for some reason) thinks that it's a big deal. A big deal for me will be if I can pass these next two semesters, graduate in May and continue our plan, and my education.
     I think I've enjoyed these past few weeks off from school and with my family more than I could ever put into words. The struggle and decisions that I go through everyday is wanting to spend more time with my family, but I know I have to work and go to school to provide for them a better life in the future. I feel like I'm missing out on valuable time with my children as they are growing up. Often times life can get stressful and I hate myself when I take my frustrations out on my kids. My lil' best friends. I hope this is all worth it. They say money can't buy happiness, but if it could buy me more time with my family, I would be very happy.
     You see, I have a very difficult time spending any amount of time away from wife and kids than necessary. I miss my family when I'm at work and school and think about them constantly. I hate to sound cheesy but I laugh out loud in class when a thought of my kids doing something funny pops into my head. I still get excited when I haven't seen my wife all day, and I pull up to my house and see her on the porch waiting for me to come home. I do still get butterflies in my stomach at the thought of her beautiful smile. I pray this never changes. A very convincing argument for me in gaining my testimony, was how much I love my wife and kids. Why would God want something so perfect to end here on earth? Why should 'til death do we part' make any sense? Exactly, it doesn't!
     Anyways, they are my motivation. They drive me. My wife and kids make me a better person. A better Man, husband and father. It's difficult. Life is difficult. Why would it be any other way though? How could we celebrate triumph without a difficult, nearly impossible path to our goal. I just hope it's worth it. When we reach our goal after all this schooling is done, I hope it allows me a job where I can attend the sporting events that my kids will be involved in. I hope to have Saturdays off so that my little family can go on camping trips, fishing, boating, BBQing and hunting trips. Yes hunting. Anytime alone with my family is quality time. I hope to provide a life for my family where our worries are how we can help other's in need because our needs are met. I hope that we can find ways and opportunities to serve others. I hope my kids can worry about their classwork and activities and not worry about food or clothes because I will cover those necessities. Above all, I just hope that these struggles we face day in and day out.....are worth it :)