It's been a while since I've posted anything. Not because I've had nothing to write about, actually quite the opposite. We've been sooo busy. It's 11:15pm and my sick wife, and 4 babies are all in bed. The house is quite and I'm able to gather my thoughts. Yet in the silence my thoughts are how much I love my family and how I couldn't imagine my life without them.
Fall Semester begins on Wednesday and I'm a little nervous. These next two semesters will be tough. Last semester was the first time since I don't know when, that I've gotten a 4.0! I didn't want to make a big deal because I didn't think my classes were that difficult but my wife (for some reason) thinks that it's a big deal. A big deal for me will be if I can pass these next two semesters, graduate in May and continue our plan, and my education.
I think I've enjoyed these past few weeks off from school and with my family more than I could ever put into words. The struggle and decisions that I go through everyday is wanting to spend more time with my family, but I know I have to work and go to school to provide for them a better life in the future. I feel like I'm missing out on valuable time with my children as they are growing up. Often times life can get stressful and I hate myself when I take my frustrations out on my kids. My lil' best friends. I hope this is all worth it. They say money can't buy happiness, but if it could buy me more time with my family, I would be very happy.
You see, I have a very difficult time spending any amount of time away from wife and kids than necessary. I miss my family when I'm at work and school and think about them constantly. I hate to sound cheesy but I laugh out loud in class when a thought of my kids doing something funny pops into my head. I still get excited when I haven't seen my wife all day, and I pull up to my house and see her on the porch waiting for me to come home. I do still get butterflies in my stomach at the thought of her beautiful smile. I pray this never changes. A very convincing argument for me in gaining my testimony, was how much I love my wife and kids. Why would God want something so perfect to end here on earth? Why should 'til death do we part' make any sense? Exactly, it doesn't!
Anyways, they are my motivation. They drive me. My wife and kids make me a better person. A better Man, husband and father. It's difficult. Life is difficult. Why would it be any other way though? How could we celebrate triumph without a difficult, nearly impossible path to our goal. I just hope it's worth it. When we reach our goal after all this schooling is done, I hope it allows me a job where I can attend the sporting events that my kids will be involved in. I hope to have Saturdays off so that my little family can go on camping trips, fishing, boating, BBQing and hunting trips. Yes hunting. Anytime alone with my family is quality time. I hope to provide a life for my family where our worries are how we can help other's in need because our needs are met. I hope that we can find ways and opportunities to serve others. I hope my kids can worry about their classwork and activities and not worry about food or clothes because I will cover those necessities. Above all, I just hope that these struggles we face day in and day out.....are worth it :)
