Tuesday, March 5, 2013

My strength through the storm. My Wife :)


           As a family we’ve run into struggles, obstacles and difficulties that we did not expect. We had been living the family/student/work/church life for the last two years in West Valley while attending Salt Lake Community College and although we struggled, we always came through ok. I believe we will be ok regarding the current issues we’re dealing with because God is always aware of us, and our struggles. We face these struggles each day for a reason. It’s difficult to see the reason while you’re facing an obstacle. In fact, I can’t tell you the purpose of what’s happening now, but I know we’ll be ok if we keep pushing. The key to life is to never give up. I wish I could say that I’ve never wanted to quit or give up but that would be a lie. Which is why I’m writing today.
            Without going into too much detail, we are now facing struggles bigger than we have in the past. I have again started to question the path we’re on and the direction we’re headed and wonder whether or not we have what it takes to pull through. One thing I’m so grateful for is the problems we’re not facing! We are all healthy, all six of us! My relationship with my wife is wonderful, healthy, growing and ever evolving! Looking at the problems you’re not facing is a great way to be grateful for all that you do have.
            Last month, I had enough with this college life. I let the situation get the best of me and I wanted to give up. I just wanted to surrender. I wanted to quit; and this time I was very serious. White flag in hand and at the ready position to start waving in surrender. This is certainly not the first time I’ve wanted to quit, and most definitely wont be the last but this time I had no strength or will to see past the storm. I wasn’t able to look at the silver lining as I have done so many times in the past. This is where my wife comes in. She fills me with confidence and encouragement when I cannot find it from within myself. If it weren’t for her, I would have quit a long time ago and returned back to Salt Lake and started looking for a job and plan B or plan C.
            You see the value of a healthy, loving marriage is immeasurable. How can you put a price tag on words of encouragement? How can you put a value on a relationship where the other person involved makes you want to be a better person every day? You can’t. At the end of a tough day, week, semester she believes in me. When I am full of doubt and question, she holds steady and reassures me that we’re in the right place at the right time doing the right thing, and if we can just weather the storm everything will be fine.
            You see as the head of this family, it is my responsibility to keep calm amidst the chaos. And for majority of the time I play that role as best I can. But those few times where I am emotionally, spiritually, physically exhausted from the struggle, she comes through with that extra wind. She’s my reserve energy to finish the race. Like a marathon runner hitting ‘the wall’ at mile 13 with another 13 miles remaining in the race and they suddenly get that 2nd wind and finish the race strong, that’s what my wife is to me. However she’s much more than my 2nd wind in this marathon; She’s my 3rd and 4th and 5th wind because this race we’re in isn’t defined with a finish line, it is however a series of races and obstacles that we face day in and day out.
Along this race we will need to continually push each other, finding the good in each day, taking the lessons from each conquered obstacle and applying it to next steep hill placed in front us. We have to stop occasionally to smell the roses on the side of the road to the top, appreciating the beauty in this journey. We have to boost each when we see the other is struggling. Metaphorically place their arm over our shoulder and continue to run. Remembering always that when we’re both struggling we need not look any further than into the eyes of our most prized blessings, the ones who call us Mom and Dad, and understand that although we are not perfect, and we do have faults, in their eyes we can do no wrong. I am so grateful for my wife and everything she does for our little family.
I can see why our church leaders push our YSA and RM’s to get married. Not only is it about happiness and love, it’s about having a partner that can push you through the difficult times. It’s about being that support for them on their rainy days. I’m grateful for her and search everyday for the reason why the Lord blessed me with such an amazing eternal companion.
I consider myself blessed each day I come home to my beautiful wife and kids. It’s my prayer that we can continue to be that rock for each other, and I pray that others can find what they are looking for as well, to experience this happiness and completeness that I feel with my family. Just feeling blessed through the storms and thought I’d write these random thoughts down.

Again, as with most of my blogs, these thoughts are mine; unedited, no revisions or rough drafts; Straight from my mind, through my fingertips and onto the computer screen as a reminder of what I was thinking or feeling this particular moment in time. Have a blessed day family!