It’s almost 1am on a Friday night. My wife and I are just
hanging out. Since leaving FedEx 3 months ago, I’ve enjoyed staying up late
with my love, and enjoying Saturday mornings with her, and greeting each of my
kids as they wake up one by one.
My wife is currently watching the TV series ‘Army Wives’ on
Netflix. Just watching this show brings back a flood of memories of my time in
the Army. I miss the camaraderie of the Army. I miss the brotherhood. I miss
the feeling of belonging to a team; of belonging to something bigger than
myself. There are 3 things that I would die for: My religion, my
family, and my country. I wanted so bad to be a part of something again. I
wanted to do something that my family could be proud of. My kids have no memory
of me in the Army as they were young towards the latter part of my military
career.
I tried out for the Rugby team recently with the hopes of
filling this void. I’m not a rugby player, and I offer no excuses. I just wasn’t
good enough, and didn’t make the final cut. I’m not fit; I have little to no
knowledge of the game. I’m ok with not making the cut, but the void is still
there. Who knows, perhaps the team wouldn’t have filled anything. What I do
know is I miss the Army life. I’m not sure if I miss it enough to dawn the
uniform again, because the opportunity is still here to join the ROTC and
become an Officer. I will say this; regardless of all of my shortcomings, and
regardless of all the things that I am not, one thing that I know for sure,
that I was…I was a good Soldier.
