Do you treat your eldest child any different?

            Do you treat any of your kids different than you do your other kids? If you do, what is the reason? To be honest I do, and I’m not sure if it’s cultural or societal, or maybe a combination of both.

            I come from a family of 6 kids, 3 boys and 3 girls. You could say we’re the Tongan Brady Bunch as our order is boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, however we’re all from the same parents J The oldest child is my brother Sateki, followed by oldest sister Makuliti and then Me and the rest of my siblings. Growing up I could see that Sateki was treated very different from the rest of us. Being the oldest child, and a boy, he bore a lot of responsibility on his shoulders. If he did good, we all celebrated and tried to follow his example. If he made a decision contrary to what my parents have taught us, it seemed that he was made an example of to teach the rest of us a lesson as well. With this in mind I believe we come to earth in a particular order for a reason. I have no doubt in my mind that my brother was meant to be the oldest, because of his leadership qualities, his love and patience for us and his ability to communicate with our family and take lead when my father is not there to make a big decision.

            In my own family, I see that I do treat my oldest son, who I named after my older brother Sateki, very different from my other kids as well. Admittedly, I am very hard on him. I push him to make good decisions, I correct him when he makes bad decisions and the reason is: his younger siblings are watching and following him. Am I wrong for doing this? Should they all be treated the same? I’m not sure of the correct answer, but I do know that I put a lot of responsibility on his young 6 year old shoulders as the eldest of my children and I do expect great things from him, as I do all my children, but especially him as he will be setting the example for his younger siblings.

            Perhaps I’m harder on him as well, because I know his potential and I want him to live his life accordingly to reach his potential. I’m sure as parents that’s all any of us want. I’m sure that’s all our parents wanted for us. Sometimes I have to step back and remind myself that he’s only a kid, and that I need to just chill out and let him make mistakes and be a kid. Sometimes I know that I’ve been too hard on hm. These are the times that I pull him aside and tell him how much I love him and how great he is now, and how great he will be.

            Again just a few random thoughts from a father learning new things every day. Have a blessed day family!