Do you
treat any of your kids different than you do your other kids? If you do, what
is the reason? To be honest I do, and I’m not sure if it’s cultural or
societal, or maybe a combination of both.
I come from
a family of 6 kids, 3 boys and 3 girls. You could say we’re the Tongan Brady
Bunch as our order is boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, however we’re all from
the same parents J
The oldest child is my brother Sateki, followed by oldest sister Makuliti and
then Me and the rest of my siblings. Growing up I could see that Sateki was
treated very different from the rest of us. Being the oldest child, and a boy,
he bore a lot of responsibility on his shoulders. If he did good, we all
celebrated and tried to follow his example. If he made a decision contrary to
what my parents have taught us, it seemed that he was made an example of to
teach the rest of us a lesson as well. With this in mind I believe we come to
earth in a particular order for a reason. I have no doubt in my mind that my
brother was meant to be the oldest, because of his leadership qualities, his
love and patience for us and his ability to communicate with our family and
take lead when my father is not there to make a big decision.
In my own
family, I see that I do treat my oldest son, who I named after my older brother
Sateki, very different from my other kids as well. Admittedly, I am very hard
on him. I push him to make good decisions, I correct him when he makes bad
decisions and the reason is: his younger siblings are watching and following
him. Am I wrong for doing this? Should they all be treated the same? I’m not
sure of the correct answer, but I do know that I put a lot of responsibility on
his young 6 year old shoulders as the eldest of my children and I do expect
great things from him, as I do all my children, but especially him as he will
be setting the example for his younger siblings.
Perhaps I’m
harder on him as well, because I know his potential and I want him to live his
life accordingly to reach his potential. I’m sure as parents that’s all any of
us want. I’m sure that’s all our parents wanted for us. Sometimes I have to
step back and remind myself that he’s only a kid, and that I need to just chill
out and let him make mistakes and be a kid. Sometimes I know that I’ve been too
hard on hm. These are the times that I pull him aside and tell him how much I
love him and how great he is now, and how great he will be.
Again just
a few random thoughts from a father learning new things every day. Have a
blessed day family!
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